I like the imagery in the second sentence, powerful. The last line left me wanting to know more; how he would rise above and survive. Nice job.Thanks so much for joining in on Five Sentence Fiction!!
The town was as desolate as his stomach that rumbled from hunger. If he didn't find food or water soon he would surely die. <---That was amazing!!!
@Lillie McFerrin Thanks I really enjoyed participating in Five Sentence Fiction!
@ BragonDorn I enjoyed that sentence too! Thanks for the positive feedback! :)
Anytime good friend :)
"The others hadn't thought much of him..." I kept rolling that sentence over in my head, it says a lot about motivation in just a few words. Nice!
I really like how you descibe the town with the mention of his hunger. Great use of imagery there!
@ Jo-Anne Thanks for the positive feedback. I am glad you enjoyed it.
@ Stephanie Thanks! It seemed like a good way to tie in the word hunger.
That was a powerful piece, and one of those pieces that leaves me begging for more...Maybe someday this could work into a story of its own.
@ Claire Thanks. Maybe, my imagination could run wild on that one!
Makes me want to know more about the story..interesting twists.
@ Donna B. McNicol Thank you! :)
you've created a real sense of despair and desolation, but with a tiny splash of hope. Will he survive? Good one!Kate
@ spring days, new growth I am glad you enjoyed my short story. I really hope he survives.